


Guardian Angel

by PetrichorPerfume



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels Are Watching Over You, Bisexual Dean, Castiel Does Not Understand, Dean is Not Heterosexual, Fallen Castiel, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, Love Confessions, M/M, Sam and Castiel are Friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-30
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2018-02-06 19:19:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1869369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetrichorPerfume/pseuds/PetrichorPerfume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael chose Castiel to watch over Dean because of his loyalty and unwillingness to question. He didn't expect Castiel to fall in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guardian Angel

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Brief mention of extremely underage prostitution.

 Castiel had been given the task of watching over Dean Winchester. He’d been told by the Archangel Michael himself that Dean would one day be a very dangerous man, and that he had chosen Castiel specifically because of his loyalty to the Host.

 

“I have seen the life that this man will lead,” Michael had told him. “A lesser angel might be swayed to sin. But you, Castiel – I have faith in you.”

 

At first, Castiel didn’t understand Michael’s warning. How could such an innocent, weak, helpless creature be dangerous to anyone or anything? Dean couldn’t even roll over without assistance; what possible threat could he pose that would make Heaven’s most powerful angel label him as dangerous?

 

Castiel kept watching, though, as it was his only assignment and he was, as Michael had said, one of the most faithful, unquestioning angels. He watched as Dean grew into a tiny toddler. He took note of the fact that Dean ‘luved hugs’ and liked the crusts cut off of his sandwiches. He saw the way that Dean looked at his baby brother, not jealous as most children would be, but completely in awe of the miracle of life.

 

On the night of Sam’s six-month birthday, he saw the demon Azael enter into Dean’s house. He flew to Michael in a panic, but the archangel had assured him that it was all part of the plan.

 

For the first time, Castiel began to question.

 

He watched as Dean lost first one parent, then the other; one he lost to fire, the other he lost to revenge. He watched Dean become a man at the age of five, saw him take care of his brother, often at the expense of himself.

 

He watched Dean kill his first monster at the age of six, watched him on his first hunt at the age of twelve, and watched as Dean worked his first solo case at the age of fifteen.

 

Somewhere along the way, Dean’s body grew into that of a man, and Castiel watched as he took partner after partner to ease the ache of loneliness. Castiel watched, disgusted, as Dean lost his virginity at the age of eleven to a drunk thirty-six year old who handed him a crumpled bill and pushed him to his knees. He’d turned away at that, something he couldn’t recognize churning in his stomach. He’d learn later it was called disgust.

 

He watched Dean as Sam left for Stanford, watched him as his dad went missing. He watched as Sam died the first time, and as Dean sold his soul to save his brother. Not for the first time, he regretted not stopping Azael when he had the chance.

 

He watched as Dean ran into a Trickster not once, but twice. He watched the oddly familiar creature kill Dean over and over and over. He’d asked Michael if he should put a stop to it, but Michael had laughed – laughed! – and said something about Just Desserts.

 

He watched as Dean’s time ran out, watched as his body was torn to shreds by hellhounds, watched as his soul screamed in Hell.

 

Michael told him and two other angels that had been tasked with accompanying him to save Dean’s soul from Perdition. It took the three of them forty years to reach Dean; Castiel survived the final battle while the others did not.

 

When Castiel first met Dean in person for the first time, he thought he caught a glimpse of what Michael had warned him about all those years ago.

 

He understood for the first time that Dean was _dangerous._ Already, the man had caused him to question, to doubt. Already, Dean had made him feel _something_ he couldn’t quite identify. The feeling only got stronger the more time he spent around Dean.

 

***

 

That’s why Castiel took the first available opportunity to speak to Sam, the only other person he knew, alone.

 

“Sam, may I speak with you?” He asked one day when Dean was out getting food.

 

Sam looked to both sides before answering. “Uh, sure, Cas? What about?”

 

“I believe that I am experiencing an unfamiliar emotion,” Castiel began.

 

“That’s good... I guess. I mean, it could be bad, but, uh, never mind. Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?”

 

“Yes. I believe that you can help me decipher how I am feeling. You undoubtedly have more experience in this matter than I do.”

 

“I’ll do my best.”

 

Castiel sat down on the bed next to Sam in an attempt to imitate human custom. “The emotion generally occurs when I am near one of my human charges.”

 

“You mean Dean,” Sam interrupted.

 

“I have... Other charges,” Castiel lied.

 

Sam shrugged. “I thought you only had the one. I mean, you’re with us twenty-four seven.”

 

“I am generally only with you and Dean for eighteen hours a day. I have other assignments within the remaining six hours.”

 

“All right, continue.”

 

“Whenever I think about this charge, or whenever I am near him, I feel this tingling sensation in my vessel’s chest. At first I thought that my vessel was malfunctioning. I was preparing to obtain a new one, in fact, but when I found none suitable I was forced to run repairs. However, I found nothing unusual. It took me a few weeks to realize that the tingling was an... Emotion.”

 

Sam shifted on the bed. “Go on.”

 

“My vessel’s heart rate and breathing increase drastically when I am close to my charge. In addition, I feel the urge to be close to him whenever we are in a room together. It is strange.”

 

“What else?”

 

“I always feel so happy around him,” Castiel said, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “We have been through so much together, and he had taught me everything I know. I feel... Incomplete without him.”

 

“I think I know what you’re feeling, Cas.”

 

Castiel’s smile grew. “Tell me.”

 

“I think you’re in love.”

 

Castiel tilted his head. “How do I proceed?”

 

“Well, it might help if you told me more about your charge,” Sam said, even though he had the feeling that he already knew.

 

“Well, he is incredibly strong, and brave, and righteous. He always puts other above himself. He is very caring, even if he doesn’t show it most of the time. He is a good man.”

 

Sam moved forward until he was sitting beside Castiel. “It’s Dean, isn’t it?” He asked, almost wishing it _was_ another charge, for Castiel’s sake.

 

Cas turned to him and looked through him. Sam squirmed under the intensity of his gaze. “You do not approve.”

 

“Cas, it’s not that. I think that you would be the best thing that ever happened to Dean. It’s just that he’d never even look at you because he’s not gay.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Gay means-”

 

“I know what the word means, Sam. I just don’t understand why you would say that. Dean has been with numerous men throughout his sexual history. He seemed to enjoy those encounters more than the ones he had with females, in fact.”

 

“I didn’t need to know that, Cas.”

 

“My apologies,” Castiel said, even though he wasn’t quite sure what he should be sorry about. “What should I do to show Dean that I love him?”

 

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out,” Sam said, and that was that.

 

***

 

Four years later, Castiel wasn’t any closer to figuring something out. He’d died for Dean, gone back to Hell, Fallen, gone to Purgatory, but his relationship with Dean had remained frustratingly platonic.

 

“Sam, can I talk to you for a few minutes?” He asked when Dean was in the shower.

 

“Sure, Cas, what’s up?” Sam replied with a smile. He was a lot closer to the angel than he had been four years ago.

 

Castiel sat down with a sigh. “I am still no closer to a solution that before,” he said, looking down at his hands mournfully.

 

“A solution to what?”

 

“To proving my love for Dean.” Castiel shook his head minutely. “I have given so much during the past four years, and I did it, all of it, for him, and still he does not understand... I need help, Sam.”

 

Sam’s eyes widened. “You mean you still haven’t... Oh, man. I thought you guys had gotten together _years_ ago. You still haven’t...”

 

“What do I do, Sam?” Castiel asked, leaning forward.

 

“Maybe you should just tell him.”

 

“Tell who what?” Dean asked from the doorway. He was dripping wet and wrapped in a flimsy towel.

 

“Tell you, Dean, something I’ve been trying to tell you for years.”

 

Sam excused himself and Dean sat down in the chair his brother had occupied.

 

“Many years ago, I was assigned the task of watching over you. Michael warned me about you. He said that you were dangerous, that you might lead a lesser angel astray. He told me that I was chosen because of my loyalty, and because of my unwillingness to question. He was right about you, Dean. As I watched you, I changed. I started to have questions. I began to doubt Heaven’s plan. Still, I obeyed. As I watched, I began to feel something strange. I later learned that what I was feeling was called love.  For years, I wondered how to show you. I gave everything for you, Dean, and I did it out of love. I loved you before I even met you, even though I didn’t know what I was feeling. I watched you grow up. I’ve seen you at your best, and I’ve seen you at your worst. I know you, better than anyone else. I cradled your soul in my wings as I lifted you from the Pit. And yet, the more I know about you, the more I love you.”

 

“Cas...” Dean breathed, closing his eyes.

 

“I’ve wanted to tell you for so long. I just never knew how.”

 

“I think you pretty much nailed it,” Dean said, laughing.

 

“I understand if you don’t feel the same way, Dean,” Castiel said, feeling his heart sink in his chest. “I’ll leave if you ask me to.”

 

“What if I asked you to stay?” Dean asked, reaching across the table to take Castiel’s hand in his own.

 

“Does that mean you share my feelings?” Castiel asked, daring to hope.

 

Dean leaned forward and kissed him. “Does that answer your question?”

 

Castiel just smiled in response.


End file.
